Xavier Xander Xenos

"I’m three thousand years old, but I have hunted twice as many fruit flavors as that. I am anti-everything – except for the occasional chain restaurant. But what am I most anti? Being found by one of you.

— Xavier Xander Xenos, in a message to his fans."

Xavier Xander Xenos (born, Dawn of Time), is the last known renegade fruit flavor hunter of our time.

Introduction
As a hunter of antioxidants, Xavier Xander Xenos is best known for being anti-everything. There isn’t a single thing he is for. He is even anti the idea of being anti. He is best friends with his enemies because he is anti-friendship, but then he is also anti-contradiction so he stays friends anyway. He hunts mostly things flavored with açai, blueberries and pomegranates for their anti-blandness and anti-badness and anti-anti-anti-anti-well-ordinariness. In addition to his fame as a fruit-flavor hunter, he is the only known person to know the actual pronunciation of the word "açai", a word he invented.[citation needed]  

Conspiracy
The first known sighting of Xavier Xander Xenos occurred during what conspirators call the The Bottomless App Mishap of 1998. After a successful day of blueberry hunting, Xenos was caught quite literally red-handed (due to the blueberries) indulging in an appetizer special at a diner in Tempe, AZ. Chaos ensued, as Xenos was swarmed by diner patrons begging for photos and autographs. Somehow, in all the commotion, Xenos slipped away without a trace. He hasn’t been seen since.

Based on that encounter, and several others over the centuries, here is what we know:
 * Xenos has been most often seen in a bowler hat, dark sunglasses, a trench coat.
 * He has been alive for thousands of years.
 * He is never seen without a vitaminwater xxx or an air of mystery.
 * Most sightings have been in the southwestern region of the continental U.S.
 * Like most things, Xavier is anti-technology, thereby impossible to track.

Xenos and fast-casual dining
The most widely-confirmed fact about Xenos is his penchant for a fast-casual eateries. He prefers to dine only at chain restaurants, and has been known to lurk in the shadows, deep in a corner booth. Although he is anti-dining out, he is also anti-denying oneself the pleasure of an appetizer sampler. Amateur Xenos enthusiasts should start by setting up shop at a shopping mall in Tulsa.

How to approach
In the rare event that you come in contact with Xavier Xander Xenos, you must be prepared. Here are a few tips in the event of an encounter:


 * Do not shake his hand under any circumstances.
 * Do not assume he is a magician. It goes without saying that he is anti-street performance.
 * Do try to gather evidence (photo, a receipt, DNA sample, etc.)
 * If you are his server at one of his preferred fast-casual establishments, do not offer him dessert. He will do something drastic.